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I have been having horrible thoughts about God and other biblical people. I have been diagnosed with anxiety/OCD. I have begun to believe that God loves me but I cannot imagine that God can continuously forgive me.
Thank you so much for your honest spiritual enquiry about your situation.
I am so pleased that you have been to a medical professional and had your condition diagnosed.
It is of course important that you continue to follow the instructions and treatment which you may have been prescribed by your doctor.
There are probably fewer things worse than a troubled mind leading to symptoms of depression. Whether the thoughts which trouble us spring out from our own troubled heart or are inserted in there from an external source, the consistency of such corrupt thoughts are both wearing and disturbing.
It is good to rejoice in the love of God for you and His constancy of forgiving us is in accordance with both His character and intent. In other words, He is a good God who has purposed to do you good through Jesus, and what better good than His constant, consistent and infinite forgiveness. When Peter came to Christ asking Him:
"Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21-22)
Jesus was saying 'never stop forgiving a person who constantly seeks forgiveness'. Knowing this great fact I hope it both alleviates your burden and fills you with joy.
God will always forgive those who ask Him for forgiveness. No matter how many times they ask!
As well as seeking medical advice, you might want to try some of the following ideas to help you.
- Ask God to deliver you from any unhelpful external influences. Don’t worry about this, just ask God and He shall deal with any problems if there are any. You don’t really even have to know the what or the how. Just ask God to quietly and thoroughly deal with any externally intrusions.
- Ask God to heal any hurt of your heart, and remove any hard feelings that may also be causing such a reaction which you have been experiencing. Again, don’t worry about this, just ask God and He will gladly help you.
- Fill your mind with good thoughts and only allow in those things which will promote good thoughts. Try and memorise your favourite Bible passages.
- Find out more about God. Read your Bible more. He is utterly wonderful and all the Bible speaks of Him!
- Find out more about the people of the Bible. See them as they are, that is really like you and me, flawed individuals worthy of our pity as well as our praise. Many of them are very funny, a good few more would fit nicely into many a television soap opera plot and a good few more you wouldn’t want them as neighbours! The bottom line is this: The Bible is full of people and just like you, me and our friends. Pity these poor folks and when you do see any good come through them, then praise God for it.
- Turn all your bad thoughts to praise. For example, when a bad thought comes up in your mind about God, simply say, “Praise You God that this is not true and that You are the complete opposite of this.” So, take the opposite thought of the bad stuff you might be thinking and then praise God with it!
In summary, this is going to take some effort on your part and things might not change overnight. Try it though! Praise God in all things and see Him for who He truly is by reading the Bible.
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Here are some more Bible Verses for your further consideration:
- Philippians 4:8-9
- Acts 16:24-26
- 2 Corinthians 5:17-21
I hope this answer helps you to find peace with God through Jesus Christ. If you want to know more about what Jesus has done for you please watch the video on the main part of our site: Watch the video
I encourage you to attend a local Bible believing church and speak to the leader about your question. If you want to find a local church, our Church Finder may help you: Find a Church
Please feel free to submit a question to us or to read our answer database: Ask a Question
*All Scripture references are taken From The New King James Version of the Holy Bible unless stated otherwise
*If anything in this answer affects you directly, then please feel free to call our confidential prayer line in the UK on 0845 4567729, where trained Christian volunteers will take your call and pray both for you and with you. If you are outside of the UK then you may submit your request for prayer on line at www.ucb.co.uk/prayerline
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