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What have I done to live a lonely life?


Thank you for asking us a question about loneliness. I am sorry to hear about your situation and that you are struggling with this issue. It is our hope that you will know the power of God in your life.

You may feel as though you have done something wrong in your life, and that as such, God is punishing you by making you lonely. I would want to encourage you by declaring that this is not in God's character. God is a God of love and care, and wants the best for us.

The bible makes it clear time and time again that God cares for us and loves us.

For example, God says "I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me" (Proverbs 8:17). We can also "know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments" (Deuteronomy 7:9). The love of God continues forever, and we can see what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God (1 John 3:1). Jesus talks of this great love and the nature of God being a Father: "if you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matthew 7:11).

God is a loving Father who wants to give us good gifts; what a blessing he is to us!

We should also remember that we are never truly lonely, because we have the loving heavenly Father with us at all times. God declares "fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my right hand" (Isaiah 41:10). You may be feeling down about your apparent loneliness but God is with you and can give you strength in your troubles. "no man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5). We believe that this verse can be relevant for you today. We also read of the fact that God lives in us, and that by this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us his Spirit (1 John 4:13). If you are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, then the Holy Spirit is within you.

Of course, although we are able to ask God to give us things, such as friends, it also requires an action from us. When God blessed people or helped them throughout the bible, there was an action required of them. Joshua had to go to war to get the promised land; Noah had to build an ark to keep his family safe; and the disciples were told many times to 'go'. In the same way, there is an action required of you if you want to find friends. I would encourage you to go to church, which is not only a place for learning about God and worshipping him in a comfortable atmosphere, but also a place to meet like minded people.

When you attend church, I would encourage you to speak to the leader or another trusted individual at the church, and talk to them about your situation. They will be able to give you further words of encouragement, as well as pray and support you as you continue your spiritual journey. If you do not currently attend a church, then the Looking for God Church Finder may help you. Please click the following link to search for a local church: Find a Church

In summary, we believe that God does not want us to be lonely, but has a great plan for our life, which includes relationships. We do not believe that loneliness is as a result of sin, but we are able to know that God is always with us, and with his help he can give us confidence to speak to people that we do not know, so that we might make friends with people.

Here are some more Bible Verses for your further consideration:

  • John 13:34-35
  • Psalm 136:26
  • Ephesians 2:4-5

I hope this answer helps you to find peace with God through Jesus Christ. If you want to know more about what Jesus has done for you please watch the video on the main part of our site: Watch the video

Please feel free to submit a question to us or to read our answer database: Ask a Question

*Taken From The New King James Version of the Holy Bible unless stated otherwise

*If anything in this answer affects you directly, then please feel free to call our confidential prayer line in the UK on 0845 4567729, where trained Christian volunteers will take your call and pray both for you and with you. If you are outside of the UK then you may submit your request for prayer on line at

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