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I fail in my relationships. I long to be married and have children. What is God's plan for me? Does he want me to get married?


Thank you so much for your question. This is a really important question to ask, and it is also relevant for me as I am currently single, yet like you I have dreams of getting married some day.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that we have the right to be married, in fact in the New Testament both marriage and singleness are valued and respected. Marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship with the church and so should be a beautiful model of that, but singleness is also seen as a positive choice. Paul even goes so far as to say (as a single man) I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am (1 Corinthians 7:8).

He values the singleness of mind that there can be in singleness to completely and wholeheartedly focus on living for God.

The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:34)

In our lives our first desire and goal should be to live to please God. The Bible teaches that he is good and loving and cares about every detail of our lives. Jesus tells us that God even cares for the sparrows, and we are much more valuable to God than them (Matthew 10:29-31). ;He has sent his Son into this world to die for the wrong things we have done. And the Bible reminds us that as he has done that greatest of things for us, we should not doubt that he will also give us many other good things.

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? (Romans 8:32)

He is not withholding this desire from you maliciously. He loves you and wants the best for you, if you are truly his, he has a wonderful plan for your life.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)

I wonder whether you think marriage will resolve all your problems and bring you happiness? Marriage is a wonderful thing that God has created it and it is good. However God is the only one who will ever fully satisfy us. It is within a right relationship with him and in his presence that our lives have real meaning and we have the greatest joy.

In Your presence is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11)

A spouse will not fulfil you, they are human and so will disappoint you, misunderstand you and let you down. Marriage isn't always easy; there will be hard times as well as the happy ones.

Come to God and enjoy this time that you have. You are free from other distractions to serve him now. He will never disappoint you. Personally I know that this isn’t always easy. Our world is obsessed with romantic love and marriage. But pray to God and ask for the strength to live his way and not to be drawn into the lie that makes marriage into an idol for many people and takes our gaze away from God who is the only one worthy of worship.

In summary, remember these words in Proverbs. Trust in God, not your own understanding, acknowledge him in every aspect of your life and he truly will guide you and show you the way to go.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Here are some more Bible Verses for your further consideration:

  • 1 Corinthians 7
  • Ephesians 1:3-14

I hope this answer helps you to find peace with God through Jesus Christ. If you want to know more about what Jesus has done for you please watch the video on the main part of our site: Watch the video

I encourage you to attend a local Bible believing church and speak to the leader about your question. If you want to find a local church, our Church Finder may help you: Find a Church

Please feel free to submit a question to us or to read our answer database: Ask a Question

*All Scripture references are taken From The New King James Version of the Holy Bible unless stated otherwise

*If anything in this answer affects you directly, then please feel free to call our confidential prayer line in the UK on 0845 4567729, where trained Christian volunteers will take your call and pray both for you and with you. If you are outside of the UK then you may submit your request for prayer on line at

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