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Question

I miss my ex-wife. We've married different people but I still miss my ex-wife. Is this a sin? I'm worried about my new marriage.

Answer

Thank you for asking your question. I am sorry to hear about your divorce and your concerns regarding your new marriage. We are praying for you. 

It is understandable that you still have some feelings toward your ex wife. I am sure you will be able to remember happy times together and the experiences you had and I'm sure you want to see her happy in her new marriage. This, in and of itself is not a sin, but to dwell on these feelings could lead to your marriage being in trouble. 

A good place to begin, as with every circumstance of life, is to repent; to say sorry to God for the wrong things you have done. All of Christian life is a daily repentance, so call out to God and tell him you are sorry for what you have done. 

Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out (Acts 3:19). 

Paul gives us clear teaching on how we ought to be toward our wives: husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:25-27). The instruction is for you to love your wife in the same way that Christ loves the church. This love is not to be shared or given to others, as the world might, but for you to be solely committed to your wife. 

I encourage you to seek the help of your local church. Although this may be a sensitive matter, the church may be able to assign to you a mentor with whom you can have discussions in private. The local church is where we see our spiritual growth, and for this growth to happen we must help each other through our difficulties. 

Similarly, there may be Christian counsellors in your area that you can speak to about these issues and others. This may be preferable if you are concerned about telling friends about your issues, and a counsellor will be specifically trained to help you in many areas. 

In summary, although wanting a person to be happy is not a sin, dwelling on another too much may create a divide between you and your wife, which is clearly wrong. Therefore, I encourage you to repent and once again turn back to God. Further to this, you may be able to get the help you need through your local church or through Christian counselling. 

I hope this answer helps you to find peace with God through Jesus Christ. If you want to know more about what Jesus has done for you please watch the video on the main part of our site: Watch the video

I encourage you to attend a local Bible believing church and speak to the leader about your question. If you want to find a local church, our Church Finder may help you: Find a Church

Please feel free to submit a question to us or to read our answer database: Ask a Question

*All Scripture references are taken From The English Standard Version of the Holy Bible unless stated otherwise

*If anything in this answer affects you directly, then please feel free to call our confidential prayer line in the UK on 0845 4567729, where trained Christian volunteers will take your call and pray both for you and with you. If you are outside of the UK then you may submit your request for prayer on line at www.ucb.co.uk/prayerline


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