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How do I deal with a husband who is backslidden and will not go to church, should I go without him?


Thank you for your question. I am sorry to hear that your husband is backslidden and that must be very difficult for you. Without knowing the situation it is hard to comment.

There are some practical things I would like to propose for you to do:

1. If he has previously been involved in the Church, are you able to speak with the Church about them speaking to him?

2. Please pray for him and offer to pray with him, but don't try to force him. It can turn into nagging, and no-one has ever been nagged into spirituality - but a lot of people have been driven away by it. The simple rule is that there is no point in talking to someone who isn't listening. Instead, remember the biblical teaching:

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—  rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. (1 Peter 3:1-6).

This cuts across modern ideas about the place of women, and the headship of the husband in marriage is not meant to be dictatorial and repressive. Nevertheless, it is real and if you show your strength of character by retaining inner beauty and 'a gentle and quiet spirit' you might be surprised at what happens! 

3. I would encourage you to not stop attending Church where possible. Your husband will probably have things he wants to do even though you don't like them or want to go to them with him, so negotiation is usually possible. 

4. Have you told him how it makes you feel and what you would like to see change (as long as you respond to his similar acts of honesty)?

5. Does he have any Christian male friends who need to be spending time socially with him? Can you help arrange this?

It is our hope that your husband will once again realise his need of Jesus and attend church once more. I encourage you to talk to him but not to nag, and to encourage other Christians to meet with them. Although we are not saved by our friends, our friends can lead us into a place where we can become saved through faith in Jesus. We shall be praying for your husband, and it is our hope that you will lift him up in prayer too. 

Please use our Interactive Answer Matrix and feel free to ask another question. Our helpful staff are praying for you and waiting to try and answer to you from the Bible, and will be delighted to tell you more about Jesus Christ the Lord, the Saviour of the world.

*All Scripture references are taken From The English Standard Version of the Holy Bible unless stated otherwise

*If anything in this answers affects you directly, then please feel free to call our confidential prayer line in the UK on 0845 4567729, where trained Christian volunteers will take your call and pray both for you and with you. If you are outside of the UK then you may submit your request for prayer on line at

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