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I used to be a Christian and was baptised but I have gone away God. I'm a single parent, I feel alone and feel guilty for the wrong I have done. I need God to show me the road to travel.
Thank you so much for your honest question. Though it may sound strange, in some ways I am glad that you are in such a desperate place at the moment. So often God needs us to be brought to a place where we are absolutely certain that we are lost without Him, and we need His help so much that we will do anything to find Him. It might be that when you were first baptised, you were not truly aware of your need for God, but you are now ready to deal with Him in a more real way.
There are a number of things that you brought up in your question, let’s deal with them one by one.
Firstly, the guilt you are struggling with. I’m sure you are feeling guilty both for having walked away from God, and maybe other sins that there have been in your life. The great news for you today, and indeed for all of us, is that we have a God who loves us and will forgive us if we ask.
The Bible tells us that every single person in this world is a sinner (Romans 3:23). We have all fallen short of the standard that God requires of us; we’ve all walked away from Him and indeed become His enemies because of our disobedience.
However, the reason Jesus Christ, the Son of God came into this world 2000 years ago was to make a way that we could be forgiven of all of our sin.
When Jesus died on a Roman cross, though He was innocent of any crime, He was paying the penalty that we deserve for our sin. He was taking the punishment that we should receive for us, so that we could be forgiven for all we’ve ever done wrong, and because of that we could come into a relationship with Him. It is so easy for us to question how willing God might be to forgive us, and to think that we have walked too far away from Him to ever have us back.
However, the cross of Jesus - the cost that Jesus paid to buy our forgiveness declares to us that God is willing to forgive any sin, no matter how bad it may seem to us. All that God requires of us is that we come to Him humbly, confessing our sin and trusting that He is the only one able to forgive and cleanse us of our past. So I’d urge you to do just that today - bring your sin and rejection of God to the foot of the cross, trust Him to forgive and cleanse you, and leave it there. 1 John 1:9 tells us this:
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Once a person has come to this place of finding forgiveness for their sin, and acceptance with God, the Bible tells us that they come into a relationship with God. He becomes their Father and they His child, and this changes everything, so let’s move on to the latter parts of your question.
You speak about feeling alone and empty in the life that you have, well there is amazing news for a person who has put their trust in Jesus - the Bible tells us that once we have done so, God will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). By faith (meaning we can’t see God, but know He’s there) we can be confident that at any time we feel most alone in our lives He is there with us, upholding us, strengthening us, and helping us to keep going. There is just something wonderful in knowing that we have a God who is always there, and who loves us with an unchanging love. There is an amazing assurance and security that comes from a knowledge that God is present with us wherever we go.
"I came that they may have life, and that they may have it abundantly" (John 10:10).
The life that is offered by the world is one that will ultimately leave us empty, but Jesus is offering us so much more. He tells us that if we will trust Him then He will give us an abundant life. It will not always be easy as we will see in a moment, but a life lived belonging to Jesus is the most fulfilling one that we can ever have. We will not experience it in all of its fullness until one day we leave this world and are welcomed into heaven forever, a place of perfect peace, joy and satisfaction for those who have trusted Christ, that day is a certainty.
Lastly, you speak of life being hard, as I’m sure it is as a single mother, but once again we have some incredible promises of God to cling onto in the midst of our difficulties. All of us have troubles in our lives, some greater than others, but the Bible tells us that even in our most difficult times God is at work in a way that we may not comprehend at all. Romans 8:28 says this:
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
If we belong to God then we can have great confidence that not only is He with us, helping us all through the hard times in our lives, but He is also working out His perfect plan for our lives. Through all the struggles that we face in this life, God is teaching us to depend on Him, He is moulding us and shaping us into the people He wants us to be. Once again, though life may be painful and incredibly difficult at times, we can be confident that God loves us with an unfailing love and is always working for our good no matter what it seems.
In closing, let me just reiterate what I said at the beginning of this answer - I urge you to make sure of your relationship with God. Make sure first and foremost that you have the assurance of all your sins being forgiven, and that you belong to God, and then all of the blessings that come from knowing God will come to you.
Bible Verses for further consideration:
- Romans 5:1-11
- Romans 8:1-39
I hope this answer helps you to find peace with God through Jesus Christ. If you want to know more about what Jesus has done for you please watch the video on the main part of our site: Watch the video
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*All Scripture references are taken From The English Standard Version of the Holy Bible unless stated otherwise
*If anything in this answer affects you directly, then please feel free to call our confidential prayer line in the UK on 0845 4567729, where trained Christian volunteers will take your call and pray both for you and with you. If you are outside of the UK then you may submit your request for prayer on line at www.ucb.co.uk/prayerline
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