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I want to start to live in God's presence but it's so difficult to do it on my own. I keep failing. I can't pray or read my bible regularly.
Thank for your sharing your situation and asking for guidance.
I am sorry to say though that for the most part, you have answered your own question in your initial statement. The Christian life is not meant to be done alone. You say that you 'don't go to church regularly'. This is possibly the main issue that you have.
Jesus' mission on earth was to build his Church. Consider these verses from Jesus:
"I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it" (Matthew 16:18).
Jesus died to forgive all people in his Church. He rose again to give these people new life. The first followers of Jesus then did these things:
And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved (Acts 2:42-47).
If you read through that verse again you will see that the first followers of Jesus did a few things: 1. devoted to the leader's teaching, 2. broke bread (communion) 3. prayed and 4. had fellowship. These are all things that take place in every local Christian church around the world. I would say that the reason you are finding it difficult to live in God's presence on your own, is that the Christian life is not meant to be carried out on our own. Nearly all of the Bible is written in the context to multiple people in the same Church. Or to a leader of the Church with instruction on how to guide the people. You will not find evidence of one solo person in the Bible trying to make it on their own.
There is one other possible explanation of your situation: your lack of spiritual interest may arise from not being truly converted. May I respectfully ask if you have sincerely and definitely repented of unbelief and rebellion against God, and surrendered your heart to Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour and Lord? If you have come to Christ in this way, I would encourage you to think clearly about what I have explained regarding Christian discipleship. We are saved by God to be part of his community, but also to be part of the local community on earth.
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near (Hebrews 10:24-25) (emphasis added)
The only real guidance I can give you is to find a local bible believing church that you can become part of and invest in and also be fed from. You may be able to find a church here:
If you cannot please write back and let us know roughly where you live and we will try to find a Church for you. You need the Church and the Church needs you! If you are a follower of Jesus, read the New Testament Bible and see how important it is to be part of Jesus body on earth.
Please use our Interactive Answer Matrix and feel free to ask another question. Our helpful staff are praying for you and waiting to try and answer to you from the Bible, and will be delighted to tell you more about Jesus Christ the Lord, the Saviour of the world.
*All Scripture references are taken From The English Standard Version of the Holy Bible unless stated otherwise
*If anything in this answer affects you directly, then please feel free to call our confidential prayer line in the UK on 0845 4567729, where trained Christian volunteers will take your call and pray both for you and with you. If you are outside of the UK then you may submit your request for prayer on line at www.ucb.co.uk/prayerline
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