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If I am born outside of marriage is this a problem to God?
Thank you so much for your honest spiritual enquiry with this personal question. I want to start by saying that there is nothing in the Bible at all that tells us that God has a problem with those who are born outside of marriage and I'll explain why. Then I’ll share what the Bible tells us of God’s attitude to children when they’re born and his love for all people. Then finally we’ll look at Jesus himself and the encouragement we can get from his life, works and his death and resurrection.
What the Bible says about children and marriage
I don’t know what has prompted this question but it may be linked with the truth that the Bible teaches that sex, and therefore having children, should only happen in marriage.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24).
This is how God originally designed his creation to work. Sexual sin is anything that goes outside God’s original purposes and includes a range of things (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). There are many sexual sins mentioned in the Bible but the thing to remember is that only those who commit the sin come under God’s judgement. Although there are often causalities of other people’s sin they are not the ones at fault themselves, i.e. they are not sinning they only experience any consequences of it.
The Bible teaches that God knows all things and that he even knows children before they are born and plays an intimate part in their development. See the description of it in Psalm 139:13-18 below:
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.
God loves his creation and everyone in it, there is nothing about who you are or about what you’ve done that disqualifies you from his love or the salvation that he offers. Your personal history doesn’t affect you becoming a Christian or being a Christian.
If you feel that God might not love you because of your family situation, think about the different people Jesus took interest in. Jesus often spent more time with the ‘outcasts’ of society. He ate with tax collectors and sinners (Mark 2:13-17), he touched and healed lepers (Luke 5:13), he allowed a prostitute to touch and kiss his feet (Luke 7:36-39).
The circumstances surrounding Jesus’ own birth would have caused alarm in his day. You may know the familiar Christmas account of the angel coming to Mary and telling her that she will have a baby, conceived of the Holy Spirit (Luke 1:26-31). Joseph, her betrothed, was going to quietly divorce her as he thought she had committed adultery (Matthew 1:18-19). For Mary to be found pregnant outside of marriage was a scandal! However, her baby was no-one less than Jesus Christ, the Son of God. God goes out of his way to show us his love and grace by sending his Son to be born in such conditions, reflecting God’s character. Jesus, a King, but born in a manger.
Praise God if your parents have loved you and raised you in a caring environment. However, this is not always the case and this is why God’s biblical model is for children to be raised in the safe environment of a committed marriage family. Any hostility you may feel about your situation is not found in the Bible and should not be the response of the church as you are not the one who has sinned.
In summary, you have not sinned in being a child born outside of marriage. However, because we are all born into a fallen world, we are all sinners and are separated from God. But God loves you and wants you to come to him to find forgiveness and eternal life through Jesus, who died to take away your sin and bring you to new life in him if you trust in him.
Here are some more Bible Verses for your further consideration:
- Colossians 3:11
- Psalm 139
I hope this answer helps you to find peace with God through Jesus Christ. If you want to know more about what Jesus has done for you please watch the video on the main part of our site: Watch the video
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*All Scripture references are taken From The English Standard Version of the Holy Bible unless stated otherwise
*If anything in this answer affects you directly, then please feel free to call our confidential prayer line in the UK on 0845 4567729, where trained Christian volunteers will take your call and pray both for you and with you. If you are outside of the UK then you may submit your request for prayer on line at www.ucb.co.uk/prayerline
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